Today, just an ordinairy day.

Woke up this morning, with nothing else but an unusual amount of worries spinning around in my head.

Why? Usually that's my main question, why my sister? Why this house? Why?

Some years ago it all started, the strange and painful atmosphere, the weird silences during dinner and the fights between my sister and mother. I was 8 when it started, my brother 11 and my sister 13. She was raped on her 13th. Didn't know that, I was 8, I didn't even now what sex was. Mom told me that a bugler came inside but ran away because of our dog, who can bark quite agressive. But that was a lie, I should have noticed, because of 1 bugler who ran away, my sister wouldn't be so in shock. She wouldn't had to go to a surveying for 2 years. But she had to. And after some years, I grew older, I was smarter and I was more certain about the whole situation. I went in my sister''s room for 5 times, sneaking in and reading some of her diary's. So I could find out what happened, and why my sister was in a surveying. I read too much I suppose. I didn't want to know she had anorexia and bolimia. Nor I wanted to know she had a complete list filled with things she hates about me. But know I do know. In her eyes I should have been the one who got raped 3 years ago. She has got a pure, strong hatred against me.

Part 1.

- I am 14 now, this story: 11.